What compels you? What motivates you? What do you feel called to do? What do you feel is your purpose? That should be the thing driving you. And if that's the thing driving you, that's such a power stance. It's such, like, a state of power. If competition is fueling you, it's nasty, and it's gonna trickle into every single other piece of the business.
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This is actually a pretty serious topic because I really do, out of all the recent episodes that we've outlined, I feel like I see this one being the most applicable to every single person. It could be in a small way, it could be in a big way, but I also just think that the effects of this in a person's life can go so deep. And so, we're doing a whole episode dedicated to comparison 'cause, I mean, how many of us can say that we've never struggled with this? Yeah. Hmm. Yeah, I'm like, "I'm just raising my hand over here. We've definitely struggled with it in our ways." Jordyn's like, "I feel personally attacked." Yeah. We all do in different ways. It can be personally. It can be in business. Yeah. You know? But I just, I really do feel like I've seen this particular thing, like, paralyze so many people this year. And just, like, I've seen it cause people to play really small, to be quiet, to so downplay, like, who they are. And it's always from the outside looking in, you can see things so clearly, you know? Yeah. And it's always so, like, frustrating for me, but in a very, like, mama bear kind of way. Mm-hmm. Because I feel like it's easy for me to sit here and say, like, you know, "You are so unique," and, "You are so incredible," and, "You are so powerful." At the end of the day, like, every person has to own that for themself. But, like, when you see how amazing a person is, and then they're literally just, like, self-sabotaging or playing small or holding themselves back because they're so focused on what other people are doing, it's just, like, crushing. Mm-hmm. Like, it's soul-crushing for me.
Yeah, I think of, like, an, uh, an actual mom, like, seeing their child navigate something like that. Like, you or me, like, uh, going through something where we just feel like we're not good enough or something like that. And, you know, from our mom's perspective, it's like, "We're amazing, and we're her children." And so, it's like she sees the, like, beauty and the power in us, but, you know, we don't always see it for ourselves. So, like, from the outside looking in, it can look clearer to us, you know, seeing it going on in someone else's life. But—yeah.—that you don't always see it so clearly for yourself.
Exactly, and that's why, like, we wanna create a platform to, like, shine a spotlight on comparison today 'cause I think that in one shape or another, we all have or do struggle with this. Even if it's a small capacity or if it's, like, taking over, you know, your life, your business, whatever. And I feel like comparison just has such a crippling effect on any- anyone. And I was really thinking about, like, "Okay, why is that? Why does comparison, like, grip us, like, take hold of us in that way?" And at the end of the day, I think that comparison distracts you from your power and amplifies your weakness by diverting your attention to another person's strength. Mm. So, you're turning away from all that you are and you're focusing on all that another person is. Comparison compels you to focus on all that you are not in light of all that someone else is. Mm. And I think, at the end of the day, you know, at the center of that, it's like your focus is off, right? It's like you're looking in all the wrong places. You're looking for, like, the answer or the affirmation or the value or the confidence outside of you. Mm-hmm. And I feel like this is such a serious tone from the beginning. But I, I do just feel so connected to this conversation, and I feel like it is a really serious discussion because the effects of this go so deep. Mm-hmm.
And so, let's kinda start by identifying, like, how does comparison, like, show up? And, you know, something that I've heard so much recently in private conversations is this narrative of, "How am I to show up and compete with the so-and-sos in our industry?" And so-and-sos can be like, you know, big names, people that they look up to, people that are influential, or they have a large platform, or, you know, they just look like the embodiment of success. And at the core of that narrative is this act of comparison. Mm-hmm. You're literally arguing that you shouldn't show up because someone else has already showed up, and they've been amazing. But, like, you're also amazing, and it isn't a competition. It's called showing up in your power and your value, and I think that we can collectively do that. And so, I've seen it show up like that. Um, "Who am I to do this? Who am I to say that? Who am I to show up in that way?" Mm-hmm. Um, "Why should I show up? Like, I don't really have anything great to bring." It's like the downplaying—Mm-hmm.—of, like, our strengths. Yeah. And I think we do that so often because your strength doesn't feel like a strength to you because it comes easy. Ooh, that's so good. Yeah. So, you can kind of disqualify yourself. You can make yourself feel small because you're so focused on trying to be great one of your weaknesses, right? Mm-hmm. Like, you're trying to make a weakness a strength because you're focused on someone else's strengths. And it's kind of this cycle, and it's distracting you from the strengths you already carry—Mm-hmm.—that come easily and naturally to you because they are literally innately designed into who you are. Mm-hmm.
That whole conversation just brought up memory of, like, me being in high school and, like, in English class, I always excelled at English. Like, always got, like, As and, like, I—it was so easy to me. Like, it came naturally to me. And I didn't think about it like that, but looking back, I'm like, "That definitely came naturally to me." And some people in my class struggled with English. Like, they struggled with the grammar. They struggled with, like, writing really well-written essays and, like, I didn't think my stuff was stellar, but I got really good grades. Like, you know, and I felt like sometimes I would downplay that as, like, this is just so easy to me. Like, I—I don't really see it as, like, this amazing, like, incredible thing. It's just—it comes naturally to me. And, like, in other areas, maybe in, like, a science class or something, like, I didn't excel and I would be like, "Why does it come so easy to these people? Why can't I be better at this?" And like, you know, downplaying my own strengths and, like, seeing other people's strengths at—like, come out, and I'm like, "Well, why can't I be good at that? Like, why do I suffer in this class?" you know? Mm-hmm. Yeah, just, like, downplaying your strengths and focusing on other people's strengths is just, like—you're gonna end up in, like, a world of hurt doing that. Mm-hmm. And that, like, cycle of just, like—that cycle of comparison. Mm-hmm.
That's why, like, coming up with this—this title for the episode, "The Comparison Game," I str—I was thinking about, um, Joni Mitchell's song, it's called "The Circle Game," or maybe it's just "Circle Game," but the—the song is, like, talking about the seasons of life going, like, around and around, and I was like, "It's kind of like the same thing with comparison." You can kind of get in that cycle of just doing it, like, on repeat and you don't really notice that you're doing it. It is like a game. It's a cycle. It's like a vicious cycle. And so what are some of the kind of identifying factors? How can we see if, like, comparison is a struggle, if that is at the forefront? It can show up in a few ways, and I think one of the biggest ways that it shows up is by paralyzing you. Either you're playing, like, real small, um, or you're just, like, in complete inaction. Mm-hmm. Like, you have an idea, but you'll never dare go there because someone else has already done it. Mm-hmm. And it's like, what in the world—has not been done before? I mean, I swear—Mm-hmm.—if I hear someone else say that, if I hear myself say that one more time, it's like, there's so many courses out there, there are so many coaches out there, there are so many people that focus on marketing, brand design, whatever. And it's not about, like, reinventing the wheel. I think that that misses the mark entirely. It's not trying to be so creative and so unique that you're kind of, like, inaccessible and out of touch. It's literally about being you. It's about being so secure and so firm in who you are that, like, that's the power behind the work. It's not forcing, striving, pushing. It's, like, you are the power behind the work. So, that's just a side tangent. But, you know, ask yourself, like, are there areas in your business where you're just playing so small or maybe you've been sitting on an idea for forever and one of the main reasons why you haven't moved forward is because someone else has already done it or someone else has done it better? Like, you're not going to measure up. It's not going to go well. Well, you know, let's change that narrative. Mm-hmm. And let's stop focusing so much on outside factors and so much on other people, and actually look at what's the thing that you feel called and compelled to do? Mm-hmm.
Yeah, comparison can also bring about this, like, spirit of competition and, you know, 'cause you see someone else doing something and you're like, "Well, I'm not there yet," or, "I'm," you know, "I wanna do that thing." And I don't know. There's something to be said about having some competitive, like, traits. Like, I think competition is not inherently bad. I wanna say that. Like, competition's not a bad thing, but it can be kind of twisted into this, like, unhealthy kind of competition where you're, like, comparing yourself to someone else, you're comparing your business to someone else's business, and, um, I feel like that compe—that kind of competitive nature can get kinda nasty if that's, like, where your—where your head is at, where your focus is. Mm-hmm. 'Cause it can get kind of out of hand. That's why I said, like, competition's not inherently bad. It—with the world of entrepreneurship, like, it gives you ki—like, you have that edge, that competitive edge—Mm-hmm.—which is, like, you know, the good side of—of competition, but there is definitely a—a nasty side to it. The core element here is that if the spirit of competition is the primary focus, driving factor, motivation—Yeah.—I think that there can be healthy ambition and competition that can kind of be fun, and it can call you higher. It can, you know, help bring out your full potential. But healthy competition. And I think that when we talk about, like, a spirit of competition, it's almost like that is the driving motivation behind everything that you're doing. Like, you wanna—Mm-hmm.—hit this goal because that person did. You wanna get 5 steps further because you wanna show that you're ahead of that person. And the way in which you go about hitting your goals is often nasty—Mm-hmm.—when you're motivated by competition, because you don't care who you drag down with you, who you step all over. And you're so focused on the way that you're seen next to this person or beyond this other person, whatever it is, you're not focused on the ultimate objective of business—Mm-hmm.—which is serving the community, serving your people, and you're so distracted by this other person over here that you can't even fully embody and walk in, like, the true power that you have. Mm-hmm. I think that that nasty spirit of competition kind of makes you nasty, and it's ugly. Mm-hmm. And people can feel that. But also internally, I think that it, like, really holds you back from your true potential and power. Yeah. It's like the focus shouldn't be on that. And I think that goes back to our previous episode on skills. Like, you should be focusing on developing yourself in, in different ways. And when your focus is there, that's like, that's where you come alive and you become the powerful person that you are, and you're not focusing on so-and-so over here. Like, that's ultimately a distraction. Mm-hmm. It's ultimately distracting you from getting to your next level, from like doing the things that you wanna be doing when you're just focusing on so-and-so over here. Mm-hmm.
Yeah. Yeah. Competition should be, if anything, like a healthy motivator in the right environment. And I think sometimes that can be applicable with teams. I think it's less applicable with founders because what I see happening is like, you know, you're scrolling Instagram, you're on social, and you're watching what these other people are doing. And it's not really a healthy ambition at that point. It becomes kind of an obsession. Mm-hmm. And it's an unhealthy obsession that is fueling and driving everything. And if that is the top motivation trickling down into everything else that you're doing, it's going to be felt in other areas, AKA your team's gonna feel it, your content's going to exude it, the people you attract are going to bring that spirit of competition. It's like you set the tone and culture, and the way that you lead is so important, and it should be from a place of integrity, and it should be a place, um, that is unique to you that, what is, what compels you? What motivates you? What do you feel called to do? What do you feel is your purpose? Like, that should be the thing driving you. And if that's the thing driving you, that's such a power stance. It's such like a state of power. If competition is fueling you, it's nasty, and it's gonna trickle into every single other piece of the business. So that's another, uh, way you can see comparison showing up.
But another one is that it causes you to really operate from this striving and pushing and chasing energy. Why is that? Because again, if we go back to the definition that we talked about at the beginning, you're so focused on other people's strengths, and you are trying to make your weaknesses into your strengths, which goes against your natural makeup, how you're designed, how you're wired. So it's gonna be like 10 times harder than if you had just tapped into your strengths. Mm-hmm. You have to operate out of a place of push and force and chase if you're trying to be someone else. Whereas if you would just sit in the power that you carry and who you innately are, you can rest, you can surrender, you can trust, you can operate from a, a place of flow and ease because you're working with your makeup. So, you know, those are a few areas. And, and maybe you say, "I identify with one of those, but maybe a—at like a 10% level," or, "Maybe I identify with all three of those, you know? And it's kind of taking over my life." But really do an assessment here and see like, is comparison showing up? Even if it's like that little nagging thought, you know, when you're going to bed at night or when you're on your lunch break and it's just the nagging thoughts of like, "Who am I to do that? I'm not good enough. I don't have anything to bring. How can I, you know, show up next to that person?" Those are often stemming from the act of comparison. And again, comparison is never gonna let you fully shine. It's literally gonna be like putting a cloak over, you know, the bright light that you are. Mm-hmm. So we wanna figure out the origin, and we wanna like root that out.
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Now, back to the episode.
And the real question isn't like, you know, "Who am I to do this? Because, you know, so-and-so is already doing this. So-and-so is already talking about these things." Like, the question should be, "Why not me?" Or, "Why not you?" You know, like, "Why can't you talk about these things? Why can't you, uh, do this certain thing in your business?" You know, like, don't let what so-and-so is doing over here hinder you from going further down the path that you're destined to go down, like, the path that is for you. Don't let that stop you from doing what you need to be doing in your life and in your business. Mm. Yeah. Again, like, where's your focus? Mm-hmm. Are you focused on your path or are you focused on someone else's? Mm-hmm. If you're focused on someone else's path, you're gonna be disappointed. If you're focused on yours and you've got your head down and you're putting in the work day-in, day-out, like, there's so much more fulfillment and peace there. Yeah.
So, when we talk about comparison, like, where does that comparison come from? Like, what is that stemming from? And one of the most obvious things that we discussed before this episode is just, like, insecurity. And I think insecurity is something we all struggle with. Mm-hmm. I mean, especially as women. Yeah. You know? I think we all can struggle with it, and I don't know if insecurity is something that—I actually don't know. Can insecurity be fully uprooted from you to where you never have insecure moments? I, I don't know that that's possible. I think that you just learn how to manage those moments where insecurity pops up and it doesn't get into this loop of spiral, it doesn't get out of hand—Mm-hmm.—when you know who you are. Yeah. When you have cultivated that confidence and that, like, firmness, that unshakable, like, confidence in who you are, I think you learn how to manage it. Yeah. We can all e—experience insecurity. It doesn't matter who you are or where you're at in your journey. You could be a billionaire and you could still deal with insecurity, you know? But that's such a good point. You can, you just learn how to manage it in those moments and not let it get out of hand and out of control and, uh, like, spiral, you know? Mm-hmm.
Yeah. So, you know, where does that insecurity come from? And I think for all of us, it's maybe a little bit different. Like, maybe you've had a unique experience in your life as a child or as a teenager. I know I've had, I mean, I can probably think of many memories as a teen where I was like, "Oh, yeah, like, that definitely made me feel insecure." Maybe you have something from childhood, maybe it was, you know, something to do with how you were raised, and I think that those are kind of, like, deeper rooted issues that we have to, you know, figure out how to uproot and how to rewire and how to change. But I think that in the present for so many of us, um, it comes down to a few other things that we all can, like, fall into.
Number one being overconsumption. Like, when you are just so focused on consuming, consuming, consuming, there's no room for, like, you at that point. Like, you've filled yourself up to the brim with what everyone else is doing, what everyone else is saying, what everyone else is thinking, doing, achieving, et cetera. There's literally no room left for you, and so naturally, yeah, I think you're gonna feel small.
Yeah. It's like over-consuming all the content out there, it's, it is just like a whole bunch of noise which is ultimately just distracting and you can't gain a clear, like, view of yourself and where you wanna go if you're looking at everyone else and you're listening to everything el—everyone else's, you know, stuff on the internet, whatever. I mean, there's, there's beauty in social media and the internet, i—it brings us, like, closer in a way. Like, there are so many people y—you know, that we can reach through social media that we wouldn't be able to reach, you know, maybe in just, in real life, in person. But it, it can also be really damaging and it can hinder you in a lot of ways because you're just over-consuming that content, you're just consuming what everyone else is doing and you never take a break for yourself to, like, figure out, like, who you are and how you feel about something and to, like, get comfortable with you, you know? Mm-hmm.
Yeah. I think in the overconsumption, the other thing that happens is, like, there's way too much focus on other people. Mm-hmm. You know? And like, again, coming back to that fact of like if you're so focused on other people, you can't really focus on you, and you can't really even have the self-awareness to identify, like, "What do I think, believe? What am I good at?" You know? Yeah. "What do I feel compelled to do?" You're so focused on other people's path, and that distracts you from the true person that you are and the true power that you carry. Mm-hmm. Um, and then, an extension of that would be, you know, y—you don't have enough alone time. You don't have enough time for self-reflection. Like, this is such a problem of our day and age. Yes.
I mean, there's new apps, you know, launching every single day, social media platforms literally designed to keep us on the screen, to keep us connected, to keep us consuming, engaging. It's almost like our world isn't designed for, like, a healthy way of living with a healthy level of, like, alone time and self-reflection and quiet. You have to have some serious boundaries in place. Yeah. Especially when you're running a business and you're running that business through online efforts, right? Mm-hmm. Like, yeah, we're gonna be online. Yeah, we're gonna be on social media. But you have to have some serious boundaries with that.
And I think about myself, like, in the business world, right now I think there's one, like one person comes to mind that I regularly view their content because she inspires me to take action. And that's actually something that she said on her podcast. True inspiration calls you to action. It doesn't keep you sitting in the act of comparison—Mm-hmm.—in the act of consumption. That's not true inspiration. Mm-hmm. True inspiration compels you to take action. That's so good. So if you're on social media and you're viewing people's content and you're just sitting there digging into a hole and it never compels you to act, it never compels you to create, that's not inspiration. That's comparison. That's not healthy. That's toxic. Mm-hmm. And I feel like that can also disempower you. Like, if that, it's like that fake sense of inspiration, like you're just looking at what everyone else is, like, doing, and then you take a look at your life and you're like, "Well, I'm not doing that," and that's where the comparison kicks in, and then it can ultimately disempower you because you're just, like, you're not taking that action. I like that. The true inspiration really, like, drives you to do something—Mm-hmm.—you know, from that sense of inspiration. That's so good. Yeah.
But like, going back to that point, I have like one person I can think of, where I'm looking at her content right now. Well, I haven't always been like that. I mean, when I first started blogging, back in 2017, I spent so much time on my phone consuming because I was a lot less confident. I was really insecure. I didn't know what I was doing. And, you know, I think some of it was to kind of get inspired and find ideas, but also, like, I didn't really know what to do with my time. Well, that's where, like, your creativity can get squashed, your voice can get squashed, and that comparison really seeps in. And so we have to figure out, like, what are your boundaries? What are your limits? With consumption, with looking at other people, with being online. Like, we're so connected to other people. I think that that's kind of the other side of the coin, is like social media—social media is great, and like we're never gonna sit here and be like, "Get off social ter—tor—" It's horrible and terrible, just became hor-torable. Hor-torable. It—we're never gonna be those people that say that because we use it as a tool, key word being tool, to grow our business, right? Um, but that's the other side of the coin, is like it's designed to connect us to other people, but at the end of the day, how truly connected are we to those people? Are those relationships deep or are they surface level? But also, because we are so interconnected, we see so much of other people's lives, passions, success, et cetera, we become less and less connected to ourself. Mm-hmm. We become less and less likely to spend time with ourself, because, I mean, it's easy to pull up your phone and go scrolling and looking through. It's not actually that easy to, like, sit in silence—Mm-hmm.—and like, cultivate that practice. That does not come easily to everyone.
Yeah. It's like you have to be conscious to actually make the effort nowadays. Like, I think about people who—around my age as well who are maybe a bit younger and like Gen Z, like, you're just so attached to the phone and the technology that, like, you don't get the opportunity to have, like, your own thoughts and feelings and to really sit with, like, who you are. And I feel like it's so dangerous because you can start to lose sight of yourself, and you look to everyone else and then the comparison kicks in and you're like, "Well, I'm not like this person," or "I'm, you know, I'm just not good enough," and all that's, like, bullcrap. Mm-hmm. And I'm like, that's not the truth. And I feel like this goes back to that episode we did on creativity earlier in this season on the podcast, but it's like taking the time to shut off the noise and actually properly connect with yourself, like c—on a consistent basis too. Mm-hmm. Like, this is not just a one and done thing. Like, it's a practice. It's something, like, you're gonna have to integrate into your schedule—Mm-hmm.—into your life so that you don't fall into this comparison game, and you're like so connected to yourself and you're so confident in who you are and that connection with, like, you that, like, other people, their journey and their story and their success or failures, like, that doesn't distract you quite as much, you know? You can be more focused on yourself. Mm-hmm. Not in a selfish way. Not in a like, "Everything's all about me," way. But there's—there's something to be said about that. Sometimes you need to focus on, like, you in the—in a—in a healthy and positive way. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Focus on, like, knowing who you are, what you think, what you believe. Focus on developing as a person. Like, we talk about this almost in every single episode. I think that there's so much power in that, and I think if we did—spend more time on that and less time consuming and, and looking at what other people are doing, then we would be so much more confident, so much less insecure. Mm-hmm.
But, you know, at the end of the day, if we unpack this even further, if comparison is kind of, like, the external sign and it stems from insecurity within us, where does the insecurity come from? And I think that if we go to the root of it, it's kind of an issue with your identity as a person. It's an issue with how you see who you are, you know? Mm-hmm.
Yeah. It's, it's so easy to get caught up in comparison when you don't know yourself very well or when you are struggling with your identity and you don't, you don't feel confident in who you are. It's so easy to get wrapped up in that. Like, oh, I have so much personal experience with that. Like, and I, I f—I've seen both sides of it too, where I've been really insecure and I've been, like, I majorly compared myself to other people. And now I'm on this other side where I'm like, man, like, I know myself so much better now in different ways. Like, I know myself on the inside and, like, that confidence has come out, like, so much. And I'm, like, I'm so much happier with who I am and I'm like, man, like, this is amazing. But hey, like, I still have moments where I can get insecure—Mm-hmm.—and where I can compare myself to other people. Like, I don't think we're ever without comparison, like, entirely. But yeah, I feel like when you know who you are at the root, like, at, like, deep inside, you know your qualities, your characteristics, it's not just external. I feel like when you know you on the inside as a person, like, on the soul level, like, that is so empowering. And you, you can stand in your power and you're not really gonna probably get caught up in comparison quite as much because you're like, "Man, like, I'm amazing. I'm powerful." And hey, so-and-so over there is powerful too, but that, that doesn't take away from your power. Mm.
Yeah, man. And I do think sometimes people struggle with this false humility thing. It's almost like you don't wanna see or express your power because you feel like somehow that makes you egotistical and you know you're not humble enough. Not everyone struggles with that, but I think that there's a, a group of people that definitely do. Um, but at the end of the day, egotistical is extremely different than confident. Mm-hmm. And, you know, we discussed this in a recent episode and we read a quote from Ryan Holiday's Ego Is The Enemy book. "Egotistical is fake. It's all about talk." Um, ego rather. Confidence is something that is so true to you. It's, like, so deeply rooted in who you are, it's unshakable. Mm-hmm. And when you are focused on all that you are, the skill sets, the gifts, the natural inclinations, characteristics that you have that you can leverage in order to live this life and run your business, man, like, if that's the focus, then you're not gonna care what other people are doing. You're gonna celebrate them, you're gonna cheer them on, but you're not going to feel this sense that you need to be someone else and that is somehow the solution. Mm-hmm.
Like, why do we feel like we need to be anyone other than us? That is an identity issue. We've lost sight of who we are, the power we carry—Mm-hmm.—um, because we're so focused on other people. But again, like, man, that's such a vicious cycle. And what is the point? At the end of the day, like, we're all here for such a reason, for such a specific purpose and reason. You are who you are. You are here right now. You're building what you're building for a specific reason. And the more you can focus on that, the more powerful you're going to feel. And if we would all just, like, collectively do that and stop, like, looking around at other people and comparing and competing, there'd be a lot more powerful people on this planet doing really powerful things. Mm-hmm. 'Cause everyone has their own unique power and, and voice and creativity. Like, I firmly believe that we all have something to bring to the table in different unique ways. We all have our own little quirks. We have our own unique characteristics. And like, that's powerful. There is not another you on this planet. There's not another you, and that's amazing. Like, you shouldn't be comparing yourself to other people, 'cause man, like, they're not you and you're not them, and that's amazing. Like, you need—we all, we all bring something to the table, you know?
Yeah. Man, and that, like, sentence just so motivates me. "There is not another you on this planet." There isn't one now. There will never be another you on this planet. There will be another person that may be similar in certain ways, but there is not another you. And like, that keeps me up at night, you guys. There is something about the way that I'm wired where I'm like, "Oof," like, "I better, like, get in gear." I have such a responsibility. If I'm the only me with these passions, these visions, these goals, this calling on my life, it's up to me to go out there and live it out. Like, no one can do that for me. Mm-hmm. At all. Yeah. No one can do that for you at all. And if you'll focus on that and less on other people, then you're going to feel so much more fulfilled, and you're gonna live out the thing that you've been called to do. And I just think that, like, there's such a responsibility in that, that we all have. Mm-hmm. And your calling is unique to you. Like, for some people, like, their calling is to be a mom or a homemaker. For some people, it's like, building these large, you know, companies. But you have something unique on your life and you're here for a reason, and like, it's our responsibility to, like, live that out, and comparison is only holding you back from doing that. Mm-hmm.
Amen. Amen, sister. Amen.
So, how do we kind of disrupt the pattern of comparison in our lives?
First and foremost, I wanna go back to this point, you guys: shut off consumption. Seriously, do it. And maybe right now, if, if you can say that you're consuming way too much, maybe you need to, like, go cold turkey for a while. Like, I've done that in different seasons. You can still build your business, be online from the stance of sharing, providing value, connecting, networking, and not be consuming other people's content. And maybe you need to mute some people or unfollow some people, not because there's anything wrong with them, but because you have an issue consuming their content and feeling insecure.
I think, you know, we kind of have to figure out how to navigate that ourselves, right? Because at the end of the day, the act of comparison, that's like, it's coming from within us, and we have to heal that. We have to resolve that. And so, maybe you need to go cold turkey. Maybe you just need to, you know, silence a couple of accounts. You get to kind of decide that boundary. But I think that this is the thing that can trigger, like, insecurity and comparison in so many of us. Like, I mean, I think we can all relate to that. You see a post, and it just sends you over the edge. I'll be working, and an hour later, I'm like, "Man, I don't know why, but I feel like crap about myself." And then I'm like, "Oh, yeah, I just spent quite a bit of time consuming and, like, looking through my feed or looking at this account that, like, triggered comparison in me."
And so, we kinda have to start disrupting those patterns and creating, like, a new healthy relationship with how we interact on social media. I think that, you know, if you—for example, you know that a certain person kind of triggers this in you, I think the first step is like, "Okay, let's mute or let's kind of like silence that. Let's not consume that content." But then, we do have to take it a step further. We have to explore, and we have to really sit with, "Okay, why is this something I'm struggling with? Like, where in myself, like, am I insecure? And how can I build up my confidence? And how can I focus more on, like, developing me?" And we have to really focus on, like, actually healing. And I think part of that healing is, like, being with you. Like, that's the other point I wanna make here is, like, create time to actually sit with you, be with you. "What do you think? What do you feel? What do you believe?"
And even acknowledging like, "Okay, what are my natural kind of inclinations? What are my natural strengths?" And if you've never taken the StrengthsFinder test, take that test. Go and really, like, discover more about who you are. Mm-hmm. You know, and cultivate a relationship with you. Like, I don't know. That may sound cheesy, but like, that is so—I feel like that is so central to building your confidence. Mm-hmm.
And then we can really start redirecting our energy that was once comparing, and we can actually start, like, proactively appreciating people. I think there is also something very healing in that when it is genuine. I'm not saying to be fake and to go, you know, encourage people or, you know, affirm people when it's from a, a place that is fake or it's from a place that isn't, a good motivation. But as you heal and you grow in your confidence, the people that you know you, you tend to compare yourself to, why don't you actually, like, go out of your way and, and just, like, appreciate them and affirm them, and express gratitude for what they're doing? I think that that's a part of the healing journey as well is, like, really creating that environment for you, creating a culture like that in the business that you're building. We do not tear people down. We do not look at all that people are and say that we are not. We look at people and we, we call them higher and we appreciate them and we speak life into them. And I think that we do have to create cultures where that is, that is a part of it, you know?
We do need to express gratitude. And I think that once that part in you is healed and you start that act, there is something so healing about that as well. And I feel like it's, like, a natural thing that happens as well when your confidence grows. Like, you will start to see, like, what used to be competition to you or whatever, or comparison, it's like you'll, you'll see it in a different light. Like, f—for instance, if you, if there's someone in particular or a brand that, like, is a, a source of, like, com—competition or comparison for you and you just find yourself in that place so much, like, when you grow in your confidence and you feel so, like, firm and secure in who you are, you'll begin to see them differently. You'll b—you'll begin to see them, like, oh, they're, like, standing in their power and their uniqueness and that's amazing. And you'll be, you'll be able to actually, genuinely appreciate the work that they do and who they are as people because you'll be confident in who you are and they're probably pretty confident in who they are and, like, it's just, uh, all the confidence—Mm-hmm.—is coming together and it's, it's beautiful. And that's, like, where, like, beautiful relationships and collaborations and opportunities, like, come your way, you know?
But I think that, like, comparison and competition are just, you know, one of those things where, like, you kinda have to heal these things ASAP. Mm-hmm. You know? Uh, we have to start working on this as soon as possible because if not, this is going to be an energy that exudes from you and your company whether you're at 0.1 or you're at point 100,000, right? And it kind of only gets worse. Like, the bigger you get in business, if this is a lingering issue, it's not really going to get better. Mm-hmm. Right? I think the problems and the effects of it just go much further. Mm-hmm.
And so at the end of the day, uh, what we really are trying to get at here, like, there's a lot of layers as you can tell. There's a lot of nuance here. But at the end of the day, like, Jordan and I just feel so, so passionate about communicating to this community that, like, you are significant. There's a reason you're here. You have things inside of you that need to be shared with the world not only for your fulfillment, your satisfaction, your joy, your peace, but for the ultimate impact that you are called and you are meant to have on the world, on the people around you. And comparison is one of those things that's only distracting you. And it's, um, diverting your attention to look at other people, to look at all that you are not, when in actuality, you need to be looking at all that you are. When you look at all that you are, that is a power stance that you can operate from and that's where you live fulfilled and free. And, like, that's the whole point.
Snaps. Amen.
So, that is this full episode. I know that that was a lot, but we hope that this is inspiring and we hope this compels you to take action. If this was inspiring for you today, if you enjoyed this episode, please do a couple of things for us. Share on Instagram, tag us @myawakeningco and leave us a review letting us know what you loved and what you would like to hear next time. Yeah. Awesome. See you later. Bye. Bye.
