This is for the ones who feel that quiet pull, the knowing that life is about more than just success titles or chasing the next big thing, because it's not just about what you build. It's about how you show up and the story you write with your life. We're Ashton and Jordan, sisters, seventh-generation entrepreneurs and your hosts. We're here to call you higher into your potential, your purpose and the kind of life that feels rich in all the ways that matter.
Welcome to Legacy Creator.
Here we are. We've made it. Today has been crazy. Those days where it's just literal, pure chaos. All you can do is laugh, and if you don't laugh, you're gonna cry. So you just might as well laugh. Like we've been trying to record this episode for hours at this point, like not even exaggerating.
No, genuinely. Yeah, genuinely.
We have been trying to record for hours and one thing or another and has just—
Which I feel like is kind of fitting, because today we're talking about motherhood.
I know, honestly. I feel like I'm going to be in the hot seat today. This is going to be such an interesting and fun episode. We've been talking about the theme of the season—"going to your roots"—and we've mentioned in passing a few times that Jordan and I, we've had our own personal experiences behind the scenes that have really led us to a new, fresh perspective in business. But I think, just in our life in general, how we move in our days, how we think, coming back to core beliefs that we have always carried, kind of coming back home to ourselves, like fully ourselves. And all that said, today I'm going to be in the hot seat, and this is going to be fun, because it's going to feel like we're all just sitting in the living room, sitting in a circle, hanging out, you know, just like dishing the truth of like what really goes on behind the scenes. One of the biggest pivotal moments in my life over the last year, which is the transition into motherhood, and how that has affected my life, my everyday, the business, how I move every single day. So we're going to get really personal today and do some storytelling, and Jordan's going to interview me.
Yes, we got paper ready to go. Got all the questions ready.
All right, let's dive in and go back to just back in time to, like, the year leading up to you getting pregnant. Where were you at? Where was your mindset at? What was different at that time of your life?
Oh my gosh, it's so funny in retrospect, because I, in the moment everything just felt like chaos, but in a good way. things were really aligning for Josh and I, my husband. We had been really wanting to move and find our home, and we went through this whole like journey and experience of like buying land, holding onto that land, designing a home that never got built, selling that land and then house hunting, which was a whole other thing. We ended up finding a fixer upper. We bought that pretty quickly and we dove straight into, like, demo, reno. Like that. We were like living and breathing, just like building our home, like laying down roots and at the same time—so that was a huge change—just like picking up our life from where we lived since I moved out of my house and we got married. and I think at that time it had been like five years. And so that was a lot of change. You know, we had our like rhythms and routines that we're really used to where we lived, and we were moving further out into the country. So there's a lot of change that came with that, and I think that's something we often don't talk about. Even when you actualize like the desires that are truly yours, that you deeply desire. there's always an element that may be a little bit bittersweet, because you're leaving a chapter behind and you're starting something new. and I definitely felt that. alongside all of that transition, there was so much happening within me—personal work on me, and also just the relationships in my life too, being kind of weeded out of toxicity, and things I hadn't realized were really having a negative effect on myself, my mental health, my business. and so it was an exciting season, but it was painful as well. and it's crazy because in hindsight, I do feel like God just aligned all of the pieces and created this runway to us becoming pregnant and having our baby. the fact that so much of my life was reset, my mindset was reset, my relationships, our home. it really felt like, if there was such a thing as perfect timing, it made everything feel like perfect timing once we finally got pregnant.
Yeah.
How long did you live here before you got pregnant?
I think it was a year. Yeah.
Maybe a year and a half.
But yeah, about a year.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
I feel like it was like that season, that year or so leading up to you getting pregnant was just preparation for, like, this season. because, like, you, really did have to work through some personal things to get to that point where, like, you know, you felt pretty like ready for, or maybe as ready as you can be to like get pregnant and like mentally ready, mentally sound and like good in yourself and everything. So, yeah.
And it's funny too, 'cause I always thought that I would have kids sooner. I think Josh and I got married when I was twenty-three. It's pretty young. You know, now that I'm thirty, I'm like, wow, I mean, that is pretty young. Um, but I thought I would start my family around twenty-five, and I was pretty adamant that I'd have all my kids by thirty. And that's just a planner in me, you know. But it is a testament to the fact that, like, everything just works out in the right timing for you, for your path, for your life, and that was definitely the time where we were as ready as we would ever be. like, we had our time to really enjoy our first few years of marriage, travel, do what we wanted, really pour into our relationship and our businesses as well. We put in a lot of hard work in those years, buy a home, renovate a lot of that home and then have a baby. And it's just cool how all the pieces kind of work together, not to say it was all like perfect. There was a lot of pain in the year that led up to that, but a lot of like good change that needed to happen before I entered into motherhood. And if you're a mom, like, you'll get that like when you become a mom, that you just don't have the time or the capacity for crap anymore. And for like you know people that perhaps shouldn't be in your life, or things that maybe you once would have said yes to because you might be a people pleaser, like I'm a recovering people pleaser. And yeah, so it just weeded a lot out and set a really solid foundation for that transition.
Yeah.
What was pregnancy like for you? How did you feel? Were you excited? Were you scared at all? Were you nervous? What was going on?
So I went into pregnancy and birth with a really positive mindset. I think I just kind of practiced um, creating positivity around it all because I knew how important that would be. But I enjoyed pregnancy. I would say the first trimester was the most stressful. Um, just because your hormones are everywhere. You're so exhausted and there was so much coming up that I had to figure out with, like, insurance and hospitals. And it started to like set in that, like, whoa, this is happening, and like there's a lot of responsibility that's going to come with this. So there was a lot of stress, but I mostly enjoyed it for that year, um, or those nine months. And yeah, I did take a really powerful course that helped me through, like, just mindset around pregnancy and also birth. I think it's called Pain-Free Birth. I think her name is Karen, but yeah, she's really really awesome. so pregnancy was enjoyable. uh, i will say i loved it. i tried to soak it up as much as i could, and once the end came, though, i was definitely was ready to be done. yeah, i feel like you were thriving while pregnant, like i mean the first trimester is kind of crazy and just like getting settled in into being pregnant. but like I feel like you just seemed like you were glowing and like you were so like happy and excited, and everything I felt like it made me think about like, when that happens for me someday, I'm like, I feel like I'm gonna be kind of like scared, but I'm like I might just end up taking the course that you took and like try to like ask for advice, because I'm like, I feel like it's just such a foreign thing if you've never been pregnant before. it's like some, like baby being formed in your body. like that just like freaks me out for some reason. I'm like the idea of that is like kind of scary. But I really do think in hindsight, like, mindset is absolutely everything. I had a moment, I think, in the first trimester, where I did have this feeling of being trapped for just a few minutes. It was a really strange feeling, which is why I remember it so vividly, because it's like, yeah, you do have a baby that's growing inside of you, but also like you were designed to do it. And I think I also just thought so many parts of pregnancy and birth were so cool and just the concept of like carrying life and seeing that life like grow when you go to see your ultrasounds, feeling the first kicks. I was just like trying to soak up the magic of all of those moments as much as I could. It was funny too when we were definitely trying to get pregnant, but I found out I was pregnant at 6 in the morning one weekday, and it was the day that we were having our team retreat at the end of the year. Mm-hmm. And I kept it a secret. Like I didn't tell Josh. I didn't tell Jordan. I didn't tell anybody for, I think, two days, because I wanted to surprise Josh and coordinate something fun to reveal the news to him. and so that period of time was just so cool. like knowing being the only person on the planet to know that I was pregnant and I had a baby that was growing to me. and yeah, i, it was cool. it was it was a really cool experience. and i felt like i left that experience just being like i would, one thousand percent, do it again.
Yeah.
What was it like telling Josh and like, how did he react?
It was fun telling Josh. I took him to a restaurant and they coordinated to have like a little high chair sitting at our table and a little sign that said, "congrats, mom and dad." And Josh did not understand what was happening. He was like, "congrats, mom and dad." "Oh, are your mom and dad coming?" I'm like, we're at a table for two with a high chair. Like, no. and yeah, he was excited. I could see all of the wheels turning as they do for men because they're trying to figure out all of the logistics. And Josh grew up in a family where there were always young kids around. He's the eldest of five. And so he knew a lot more about the responsibility of having a baby than I did. And in hindsight, he was just so right about that. he's like, it's going to be a lot of work. and like, it's fine. like, it's just a cute little baby. it's a lot of work, but it's also just the most rewarding, fulfilling thing. But it was fun telling him.
What was your birth experience like? First off, leading up to birth, like, how were you feeling? Were you feeling like geared up and ready? Or were you like nervous at all? And like, what was the birth experience like for you?
So this may sound really weird, but I did want to share a little bit about my birth experience just because I think there is a stereotype around birth where there's a lot of fear associated with it. And I think that there's a big reason for that just because we're kind of conditioned to think that it's like this insane emergency and, you know, you're uh, in danger. And although, you know, there are things that can happen, it was such a positive experience for me. So leading up to birth, I, what sounds weird is like, I was excited. I was like, "oh my gosh, like, let's go. Like, let's do this." I feel like I had just, I've been taking that course. I'd been doing like, like my prayer time, my affirmations, my like visualizations, um, I've been doing all of my like stretches and poses and things that they encourage you to do leading up. I've been doing my teas. I made it a whole experience. I was like, you know what? we're going to do all the things. and i was excited. so that's how i felt leading up to birth. i was definitely ready and i was excited. um, once birth started, uh, man, i really should have had my notes pulled up of like the detail of my birth story because i did document everything, but i was in labor for, let's see, we, we got dinner on a thursday, didn't we? yeah, i think so. so i had my first couple of contractions like an hour before i was supposed to grab dinner with you and and chris and josh and josh was like, "oh my gosh, like, you know, should should we go?" i'm like, "yes, we need to go because, especially for your first birth, like, it's likely gonna take a long time and the doulas i was working with they were like, when you you know feel your first contractions like just try to go about your life as you normally would even if that feels foreign or like hard because it's gonna be a while." and mine was a long time so we got dinner that thursday i was having contractions at the dinner table which i thought was insane. I was like, "Why are you here?" And like, "Are you okay?" Like, "Do we need to like go?" Yeah. I was literally having contractions at the dinner table. I was having to close my eyes and like breathe, go to the bathroom. And, um, they were really far apart. you know, obviously I wasn't like about to pop, but, um, yeah. So we got dinner that day and I didn't end up delivering my baby Leo until the following Tuesday morning. Yeah. Tuesday morning at five. So Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday too. So like there were like five, between four and five days that I was laboring. and that's a pretty long time. now i do think that i had some like stalling that happened in the first like one to three days. um, all that said though, i honestly enjoyed birth. the hardest part for me was the early labor. um, and i probably had some like prodromal labor happening, which technically they say is like false labor, but at the end of the day, that's a whole other rabbit hole. there's not really such a thing as like false labor. it's just, you're not going to continue into actually birthing your baby at that time. your body's just preparing and it's doing what it needs to do. and and i feel like i was able to make it through that period of time because of like all the work, the mental work that i put in before going into birth. that was the hardest part is just like being so defeated that i wasn't actually going into labor because you're just having contractions like off and on and off and on and things would pick up and, you know, stall and yeah. so eventually, uh, monday rolled around and i had been laboring at home, like in the day through the night, i'd had some pretty intense contractions, but things had really like slowed down and i wasn't having any contractions. and so, you know, josh and i were like, what is happening? well, i had a doctor's appointment scheduled. uh, and my doulas were like, you know, just go in, go about your day as things, you know, as normal as you possibly can. and i go into this appointment thinking that, you know, they're going to do a check. and i'm going to, you know, be like a centimeter or two because, you know, things had just been like stalling so much. and this nurse, like, she does a double take when she's tracking me. and she's like, "honey, like, you're seven centimeters dilated and ninety percent effaced." and i literally was like, "no, are you serious?" and i just start crying in this chair. so, like, y'all, i was like, just laboring. and like, i had no idea how long, like how far along i was, but that was really the turning point in my birth experience where i feel like i, i got more excited again because i knew things were actually happening. i think that's the hardest part of birth is like just the not knowing and and kind of surrendering because even if you are in the hospital and you have checks happening, you just don't know how long these are going to take. you don't really know exactly what's happening. and for me, that is like torture. but yeah, from there i went to the hospital and you know, it was still practically a full day before he arrived the next morning at 5 something in the morning. um, but yeah, i have a lot of notes written down about my birth experience. i will say like when i got to the hospital, i had so much fun laboring because i knew i was doing it. i was like, "i'm doing it. like this is it." and once i realized that i was actually doing it and i was like managing it, i'm like, "this is fun. like i can do this." um, my parents and jordan came to visit me too. and we're just like talking in the freaking like hospital room and i'm just like going through my contractions and we're just talking and then i'll go through a contraction and we're just hanging out.
Yeah.
You really were like having fun with it. And, like, I know our mom has said this multiple times that like watching you labor was so like cool, 'cause she was like, you were just so in the zone. Like every time the contraction came, you just were like, you literally looked like you went somewhere else for a second. And you were just like, I'm in zone. Like I got to get through this contraction. And you were just like, I don't know. It was like so cool and like empowering, I guess, to see that. 'Cause I'm like, dang, like if you can have that sort of experience, and I'm like, I don't feel so like nervous about that one day.
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, it's like you see in the movies when like someone goes into labor, like they have their first contraction and then their water breaks and then they're immediately pushing and you're like, oh my God, like that is just insane. But it's not like that. And it actually can be a positive experience. Like I felt like it was fun. I felt like I was just like in my power. I'm like, "Dude, I was like made to do this. Like, let's do it." And I just would like visualize, even when I was like laboring at home, I would visualize like a wave, like crashing over you and like, you know, it'll get really, really big. And then it'll eventually like calm down. Or if it was feeling like really, really tough, I would just kind of pretend that I was like leaning into this, like melting into it, like a bear hug. And just like, I'm just gonna like, just let it happen and just disappear into this moment. And like, you do kind of have this weird like out of body experience because you are in the zone. Like I remember when I went into transition, that was like things got really intense and you guys were in there for just a few minutes. And you told me afterwards that like I was in this contraction for like ten minutes. It was, I can't remember how long now. I like nearly blocked that out. But now that you bring it up, it was like, it was several minutes long and me and mom were both sitting there like, is this like it? Like it's about to happen because it was a long, very long contraction. Maybe it was like five minutes, but it was, yeah, it was really, really long. And when they said how long it was and I was like finally out of the contraction, I was like, "what? Really?" Because you're just like in the moment. And I think that was one of my, kind of like one of the coolest things about birth is just like, the process of like leaning into it and like knowing and trusting that like you're made to do it, like you're designed to do it, and just trusting that things are going to take the course that they need to take. and there's nothing about that process that you can't handle because like you were designed with the capacity to give birth. so uh, you know, they say that going into birth with a tremendous amount of fear is really what creates a lot of the pain and a lot of the struggle and just the really negative experience. and of course, this is just my experience and there are things that can happen and go wrong. so your experience is your own. but for those people that are like, you know, you know, you want to be a mom and you're not sure what that's going to be like. i just want my story to serve as a testament that like, we're made to do this. and like, however you end up giving birth to your baby is going to be perfect. like i ended up having my, my baby like vaginally, but my best friend had her cesarean and they're both like perfectly healthy, happy babies. and so it's just, you know, it's going to be your story and experience, but you were made to do this. and like, it doesn't have to be scary. it can be something that's like really transformative and really cool.
No, man. I love that.
How was it for you holding Leo for the first time? What did that feel like?
Bro, dude, they talk about the golden hour, which like I didn't know about until I took my class, but the hour after you give birth, just like, it is the most amount of like, I think adrenaline. Oh, yeah. And I can be wide awake, full on, so excited. I could scale a mountain like after giving birth. Like that's where your energy is. It was so freaking cool. I just remember like just the surrealness and the feeling so proud. like, "oh my God, like I did it. like he's finally here." because two days before that, like I just remember like I was on my floor, like kitchen floor of my house and I was crying with Josh. I'm like, "I thought I was going to meet him today." "Like, I'm so tired of like waiting and like, doing this." I want to meet him. So it was so cool to finally have him there. like he was screaming, crying immediately, which like his personality was already there from day one. like he's like, "I will be heard." and he immediately started eating. it I am just like on cloud nine and I look over and Josh is asleep. Josh is asleep in the chair. And that's because he had been helping me labor for 5 days, like day and night. And he didn't have all of those hormones going through his body. So he was literally asleep and they go to weigh Leo. And I'm like, oh my gosh, they're going to weigh him. And I'm like, Josh, wake up. I'm like, get up. like they're going to weigh your son. And he's like, what? It was so surreal and amazing. So cool. I remember too, just like once I got situated and got into like the wheelchair because they wheel you into your next room and they have a system with that. I'm like, "I felt like I popped him out and they were like, all right, let's go to a different room." And I was like, "I just birthed a baby. Can I have a minute?" But they, yeah, got me in my wheelchair and he was all bundled up and has a little hat on. And like, I was just holding him in this wheelchair and it was like, I was so proud. I'm like, "This is my baby. Like, I just had this baby," and we're walking around and everyone's saying congratulations. And, oh man, it was just like, yeah, you feel like you're on cloud 9.
Oh, my God.
All right, let's shift gears and go to like postpartum. How was postpartum for you? And then like making the transition back into work? How did that feel for you? And did you feel like prepared to get back into the business?
So I will say postpartum was way harder than I thought it would be. And I think in hindsight, I spent pretty much all of my energy preparing for birth and preparing for the logistics of having clothes for Leo and all the things that, you know, you have to acquire when you have your first baby. I didn't put much thought to postpartum. because I was like, "I'm gonna be fine. Like I'm pretty resilient, you know? And like, I never struggle with anxiety or depression that much. Like I'm fine." Like my best friend and I, we had our babies 6 weeks apart and we were like, "we're gonna be on maternity leave. we're gonna go thrift shopping. we're gonna go on breakfast dates." And then we were both like very humbled very quickly. we're like, "we're not going to see each other at all on our leave." because like you're in the thick of postpartum. So postpartum was hard. I definitely had some postpartum depression. I had overwhelm and just like the sleep deprivation is one of the biggest things that will get to you. I was also breastfeeding and there were complications with that. So it was a lot. um, but what i really learned, i think through postpartum, was the importance of having like your village. they talk about like having your village that's there. like, you know, you mom and dad would bring food. you guys would come over like every other day, as much as we wanted you to come over, like, y'all would come over, you know, take the baby, bring food, cook. um, and then we also hired, um, postpartum doula support, which is by far the best investment that we made for all of like birth, postpartum, baby. it was just so invaluable. and we can even link the people we use if you're in just the general like raleigh, durham area. um, but we used east raleigh doulas and that was really helpful to have just someone who knows typically like what's going on and can just be encouraging, can be helpful. so i could take a nap or take a shower. um, but all that said, postpartum was very humbling, but it was also, um, so sweet because you're in this bubble with this like very fragile baby and it's a very like sweet bonding time too. like i look back at all the pictures i took during that time like being in the bed. that was one thing i did really well because everyone told me to stay in bed and stay in bed for like a week. don't be trying to get up and down and do all the things. and i tried my best to like really rest. and i think that's why i recovered pretty quickly. but yeah, i look back at that time and those pictures like so fondly because you're in this bubble that you won't always be in with your baby and they're sleeping so much and you're nursing a lot. and there's a lot that comes with that. and sometimes that there is overwhelm, but there's so many sweet moments and you're just like, oh my gosh, i brought my baby home for the first time. so it was definitely a hard experience, but it was also sweet. and that's like something i'm finding with every season of raising a baby. there's going to be things that you don't love about each season, but then there's going to be things that you're always going to miss. like you're never going to get that newborn scrunch back or that like little grandpa face back that leo was born with. yeah. they have their personality that's developing and they're growing into. so it's just taking each season, especially in the first year where they're changing so much, taking it in stride and just moving through the hard stuff as best you can and leaning on people. that's a huge thing that i really just had to keep doing, telling people if i was struggling and still doing that. and just trying to find gratitude in whatever you can and appreciate the things that won't always be the same.
What was it like for you transitioning back into work after giving birth? How was that for you? Did you feel prepared to get back into the business?
So I feel like my response to this is twofold because I think we did a really good job of preparing for my leave and just working things out in the business, scaling things back, adjusting expectations, getting you more plugged into certain things so I could take time off and I could have a minimal re-entry. And I think that's something I would definitely do again. I would have a minimal re-entry. So it's not like, okay, come this Monday, it's all in. You know, it's not really going to be like that anyways, especially if you have your baby at home and you're not, you know, putting them in daycare or getting childcare immediately. And we weren't. We've definitely like eased into the process of like receiving more help and care for him. But all that said, you know, that minimal re-entry was really helpful. I feel like logistically things were pretty smooth. Like I wasn't super stressed about the logistics of the business and things are falling really behind, or I need to do this, this, and this. 'Cause we did a ton of preparation, a ton of batching. But my other response to this is I feel like getting back into the flow of work was not what I expected it would be. And part of that is because I very much so downplayed postpartum and I just didn't expect it to be so hard and to be such a transition. I've always heard people talk about coming back to their work and back to their business with like so much clarity and inspiration. And you feel like this, you know, revitalized, like, person who was just reborn. And that wasn't really my experience. I feel like I've slowly gotten to that point because birth and having a child does transform you and you are reborn, but that did not happen for me in like the first few months of postpartum. So I definitely feel like I kind of lost my like inspiration, my connection to the business, my vision, because there was so much like going on inside of me. And so it took me a while to just get reconnected with everything and also like kind of recalibrate now that I had a baby. And I feel like so much had changed inside of me and simultaneously, like, so much was changing and happening for you, which we'll get into that in our next episode. But we were going through so many changes and I felt like there had to be some sort of recalibration to just realign with what really matters with our real vision, what it was that we wanted to prioritize and how we wanted to work and create. And for me, that just took time. Like, and I, I feel like I've gotten to the other side of that, but there's still some things that are settling, settling in. Some of the pieces that are still coming together and, you know, I think we just sometimes put timelines on things because we think we should be able to do certain things and, you know, a certain time frame, but, man, you know, you can't really apply that same expectation, especially when you go through a big transition like having a baby. So yeah. It logistically went fairly well, but I feel like just like being connected to the business again took me a little bit of time.
How has becoming a mother challenged your version of success?
I think having a baby just shifts your perspective, changes everything, but also, in my experience, brings you back to the truth that you've kind of always known and the desires that you've always had, that maybe got muddied or lost along the way. So for me, everything changed, but also nothing changed, if that makes sense. I think I came back to a lot of my original desires, visions and dreams for a baby, my work, for my business, for our community, that maybe got a little bit blurred along the way, just through distraction, you know, consuming content, comparison. Like you know, things that just inevitably can come up along the way. So for me, I feel like success just became so much simpler after having Leo. Like, I feel like a greater motivation, because I feel like I have a greater motivator now, like having a baby. that's such a big motivation to go after your dreams and to do what you're meant to do, 'cause now you have a little human watching you and you want to be a great example and a great leader. but also—it's just not about some of the surface level things for me anymore. Like—and it really never has been like. I've never been the person that's like I want the nicest house, the nicest car. Like, I don't really care about like physical items. Like, I've never—I don't have, like, the nice purses and like designer stuff and some people listening to this, like that might be your thing. and like if that's your thing, awesome, like that's a part of your vision, your vision board, whatever. for me that's never really been the thing and it's really more about like the lifestyle component and also just doing the work that I feel like called to and being obedient in that versus trying to be something that I'm not and achieve certain things. just because because it might look good or it might gain respect for a temporary period of time, it's like just feel like there's so much more meaning behind what I'm doing and I'm so much like more rooted and grounded and where we're going, and I'm okay if it takes time because I'm so bought into it and I'm so obedient to like the mission and the path that is meant for me. so everything that about my version of success changed, but nothing changed, because I really just came back to what ultimately has always mattered to me, but I lost sight of a little bit along the way.
Yeah.
That's what the whole season's about—man—going back to the roots. And I feel like that, really like that experience of of having him just brought you back to like who you really are and what you really want in life. You know, how has becoming a mother like reshaped your identity as a business owner?
Yeah, I feel like in every way. I think it comes back to a lot of what I just said about just having a completely different perspective and also now being a business owner and an entrepreneur and a CEO, like, that's not like my first title. Like that's not like the thing that I'm like, I want to be remembered as. I think a lot of times we hear and see people talk about creating legacy in the frame of like business, because you have so much opportunity to do that and so much ability to impact people, to create wealth. But, like, at the end of the day, mom comes before CEO every single day of the week, and it just shifted my priorities. And mom comes first, family comes first, freedom comes first. Those are my guideposts. And above that is God. And then my business is like a byproduct of all those things. My business is a tool to like, live out my path and my calling and the work that I'm meant to do. But it's not like the first thing that I have to do and strive to accomplish things so I can stack up accolades to look a certain way. Like, that's not what we're doing here. So I think it just shifted how being a business owner fits into my life and like where it falls in, like my identity. And it's a part of my identity, but it's not everything. And I think for a few years, because I was so in it and I was working so hard, it just became my whole identity. And sometimes that happens, and that's okay. But becoming a mom just reminded me that I'm so much more than a business owner, and that allows you to take things a lot less personally in business too. When you realize, like, this isn't your identity. this is just a part of what you do and a part of how you live your your path and achieve your dreams. So if there's something that happens with a client or with—yeah—if there's a crappy thing that happens with another person, the way I'm perceived, I don't care, because I care what people closest to me think about me. And I do think that you have to get to this place in business if you want to keep growing where you do have that soft heart and tough skin. That's what it is, right?
Yeah.
That's what our dad says.
Yeah, have tough skin and a soft heart, and that's so true. I feel like that was just so powerful, everything that you just said. And I'm like, wow, I feel like even myself and maybe people in our community, maybe they haven't had a baby or whatever and gone through that same experience. But I do feel like I am just sensing that people are kind of feeling similar to that sense of like, I'm not just a business owner, like I want to be more than that. Or like I felt like I was feeling that way. Similarly, like late last year, I'm feeling like I don't want to just be like this one thing, 'cause I'm so like multifaceted. Like we all are. there's so much nuance to like every person. and God, that's so good. like, having your whole identity wrapped up in your business. it makes you feel like you know if someone doesn't like you or if a potential like working with a potential client like falls through the cracks and like doesn't work out. you can take it so personally and feel like you know, and especially for us, we're so sensitive and I feel like for a while when stuff like that would happen to you, it would like hit you so deep and make you feel some type of way. But like, wow, that's, that's just so powerful. Like it's not all that you are. And it's just a, it's just a piece of who you are as a fraction.
So true.
Yeah.
I had an experience, I think, a few weeks ago now that was really hard, but also not that hard for me to navigate in this season. Like if I would have gone through this particular situation three years ago, I would have been like crying on the couch. I would have been like doing anything that I could to keep the peace and be this good leader, and to please people and make sure that, like, it's all good and sacrifice so much of myself in the process. But instead, it was a hard situation and I just kind of was like, it's all right. Like, I'm going to do what I can to like, operate out of integrity in this particular situation. but I'm at peace, no matter how this situation, how the pieces fall. Like, I'm just good. Like, it's all good. And I don't think that I could have done that. I definitely couldn't have done that a few years ago. I mean, I've had so many experiences in my years of business where I've taken things so personally, just like everything would hit me so hard in the heart and in the gut and I would just overreact. And it's because everything was so, so tied to my identity and my worth. And now I just feel like I'm so much more grounded. I think part of that is like number one, like, becoming a mom, but also just getting older. I am my age and era of like the thirties. I'm about to be—
All right. What has surprised you the most about motherhood so far? Like either in the very beginning or like even right now? what has surprised you?
I think, just I hate to say this, 'cause I don't want to be discouraging, but how hard it is, honestly. Because before becoming a mom, I think I was just like: "oh, we'll figure it out and it's fine and it'll be fine," but it's just, it's. so it can be so hard, and i hate to say that because i don't want to be negative. but also i had this moment when i was fresh postpartum, where i i literally told my mom, like, "i'm mad at you, i'm like mad that you didn't tell me how hard this was gonna be." and i was like in the middle of like postpartum depression and stuff. and i was like kind of kidding, but kind of serious, because everyone's like, "when are you gonna have a baby?" and then i'm like, "but you didn't tell me like what i was gonna have to do. like, this is really freaking hard." but in the middle of it all being hard, i'm also so surprised at how capable i am and how i can figure things out and it all works out. and i have this capacity to just innately be a mom and care for a baby and figure things out along the way. so yeah, it's been hard, but i'm like, "wow, i'm so capable. i can do this." so hopefully that's an encouraging note too.
Yeah.
Like building off of that, what's something you wish more women were told before becoming mothers, like especially entrepreneurs?
Yeah, I honestly think it ties into that. like it, it's going to have like really hard moments. like it's not all glamor. like the highlight reel shows you both in business and motherhood. like it's not all that. like you'll see people traveling with their babies to Europe and like everything looks like it's dandy and it's just not. like it's so hard, but also you're so made to do it. and like, you can figure it out and it can fit into your lifestyle. i think that's something i was a little afraid of is like, it was just going to be my lifestyle. and i'm the type of person, like i want to have like diversity in what i'm putting my hands to and my mind to. and i want to be an amazing mom, but i also want to be a business owner and i want to follow like my dreams and my path. and so you can do both and it will all work itself out. so just expect that it won't be perfect. like it will come with trials, just like anything does, but you were literally made to do it. like you're so capable and you were designed to carry life, to raise life and, and it's cool. it's a cool opportunity. like the impression that you get to have on your baby.
Yeah.
Final main question that I have is what do you want Leo to witness in the way you've run your business and live your life?
It's a big question. I feel like there are so many things, but I think just the like duality of putting in the hard work and like showing up every day and taking the action, whatever that looks like, you know, I'm not saying like, I'm going to wake up at six and work from six to eight, like six a.m. to eight p.m. Um, but I want to show him hard work and that work ethic and how important that is in actualizing your dreams. So it's that component, but it's also just that if you're on your path and you're doing the work that God has called you to and you're obedient to that, every single thing works out in your favor. And it's both. It's not just the, "well, God's going to work it out." Like I just trust that it's all going to work out. It's that, but it's the action and it's the putting in the work and you have to have both. So I want to like model this like hard work, but also this trust and surrender and like find the balance of like just how those coexist together.
I love that.
All right. To wrap everything up, I have a list of rapid fire questions. So we're going to try to go through this pretty quick. I thought it'd be fun to just do one quick question after the other. All right. First question: what's one baby item you actually use every day?
My nursing chair, which is that—it's not really for the baby, but if you invest in something, a nice nursing chair.
Love that.
Coffee order before baby versus after baby.
Any caffeine. I don't even care. Give me like a straight shot of espresso. I will take anything. I'm not picky. Before it would be like a solid, like, 15-minute routine of making my vanilla latte, maybe sometimes with pumpkin syrup in the fall, but now it's like give me that espresso.
Yep. Hit the ground running.
Biggest myth about motherhood?
That you have to sacrifice everything else in your life to be a mother.
Dang. That's good.
What's your go-to soundtrack for a chaotic morning?
I literally listen to calm instrumental music. Like no words, no nothing. I'm not getting hype. I'm like, I need for you to be playing the piano with nothing else. That's it.
Yeah.
Best show to watch during feedings or like, especially early on when you first got back.
I went through a Virgin River phase. It's very cheesy, very cheesy, but I actually got so into it. And I want—that's like all I watched when I was nursing.
Something you didn't expect to be so hard.
Everything. I'm literally going to leave it at that. Actually, no, no, no. I'm going to say postpartum. Postpartum.
I was like, that's going to be a breeze.
Yeah.
Most used app as a mom and most used app as a business owner.
I don't know if ClickUp's technically an app, but ClickUp, I feel like. And then I just opened up on my phone. It's called Baby Tracker. I literally still use this to track feedings.
Love that.
A mantra that's been getting you through lately.
You are made to do this.
Love that.
One thing that instantly makes you feel like yourself again.
Literally 5 minutes with coffee and a book. Just like silence.
One word to describe your current season of life.
Humbling.
If you could gift every new mama entrepreneur one thing, what would it be?
3 to 6 months of postpartum doula support.
Ooh, good answer.
All right. Favorite time of day with your little one.
First thing in the morning when it's all quiet and dark and like just us.
Yeah. I knew that was going to be your answer. Early morning riser. Yeah.
Well, that's all the questions we had for the rapid-fire segment. This was so much fun. And I hope that this just pulls back the curtain and yeah, just invites you into the most transformative experience that I've ever gone to. But one of the driving factors behind this season, the changes that we've made in our business and the just so much of the growth that I've been going through behind the scenes. And in the next episode, we're going to dive into a very important piece of Jordan's story. And I'm excited for that one as well.
Me too.
Amazing. Well, thank you guys so much for your time. If this was an enjoyable episode, you had fun hanging out with us, share on social, you can tag us at Legacy Creator Podcast, and we'll catch you in the next one. Bye.
