We live in a culture that often prioritizes feelings above all else. Feelings shouldn't necessarily lead the way in all of your decisions, in all of your actions, or inaction, each and every day. Otherwise, you're kind of a slave to your feelings.
Welcome to the Legacy Creator Podcast, a show dedicated to giving you the tools you need to build a profitable, purposeful, and powerful business that lasts. I'm your host, Ashton Smith, a sixth-generation entrepreneur who is passionate about helping you think bigger so that you can actualize your goals and build your legacy.
Let's dive in.
Hi. Welcome back to the Legacy Creator Podcast. We're so excited for today's episode. If I've ever heard of a spicy podcast episode, I think it would be this one. Yep, it's this one. Mm-hmm. We like some spicy chats, but what that really means is it's just a different perspective, looking at something from a different angle. Ultimately, the big anthem of this podcast is to help our community think bigger about their life and their business, and I think this conversation is going to do that. Just bear with us as we sift through and we peel back the layers and we add context, because I know that this one may ruffle some feathers. Yeah. But I think, at the end of the day, it's going to call all of us higher, and I think it's gonna leave you feeling so empowered.
So, the question of the day is, "Are feelings ruling your business?" Mm-hmm. And, I mean, even your life. Mm-hmm. And, you know, sit with that question and really think about that. Some things that could show up here are: are you waiting for inspiration to strike before you create? I hear this one all the time. Mm-hmm. People that are like, "Oh, well, I just sit down to create content, and I'm just I'm not inspired." "So, I'm just gonna wait until later," or, "It's okay. I don't feel like it right now, so we'll just come back to it," you know? Yeah, or, "I'm not feeling motivated, so I'll just kinda put that project off." "I don't feel energetic, so I'm just gonna kinda wait until the energy resurfaces." "I, you know, I'm feeling fear, so I'm just gonna push off that big leap that I wanna take."
And I think, as Jordan and I were really thinking about this conversation, we kept coming back to this concept of, we live in a culture that often prioritizes feelings above all else. Mm-hmm. And I think we wanna add some disclaimers here. Yeah. Um, because, you know, you want to be able to tap into your intuition. You want to listen to your body, of course. If you're on the edge of burnout, or, you know, you do wanna listen to those signs, but we also don't want feelings to rule your life. I think that there's been positive effects of us collectively, like, really tuning into our feelings. We've seen the rise of sustainability in business versus hustle culture. We've also seen a lot of people that leverage intuition in their business, which I think is really powerful, and I think even just this greater sense of presence and, like, working with your energy. We were literally just talking about this. We talk about this all the time. It's like, we don't intentionally do that, but at the start of the week, we're like, "Okay, what phase of your cycle are you in?" Mm-hmm. Um, that kind of sets the tone for how we work, and we can set realistic expectations for the week for ourselves based off of that. So, we're not saying, like, not to do those things. What we're talking about here is a little bit different.
I would love for you to kinda hit on, the difference between emotions and feelings as we get started.
Yeah. So, I grabbed this screenshot from the interweb. I think the website is HumIntel, and we're gonna put the screenshot up for those watching on YouTube. So, if you're a podcast listener on a podcast app, you can also check us out on YouTube. But, basically, this screenshot kind of just shows you some differences between emotions and feelings. They're not really synonymous with each other. They definitely have some overlap, but today, we're talking about feelings, and according to this, feelings are perceptions of sensations in the body, and they're also not necessarily related to emotion. Like, for example, you feel tired, you feel cold, you feel ugly, or whatever it may be. Whereas emotions, and listening to your emotions, I think, is really important, I'm not saying, like, just disregard your feelings and emotions and, like, be a robot. But, emotions are more so, um, like reactions, like a specific reaction to an event. So, if someone made you really sad and someone said something really hurtful to you, like, of course, you might feel sad. You're gonna feel, like, heavy emotions like that. And another thing on here that I found interesting is that emotions are automatic and unconscious. So, they are just kind of our natural reactions to things, whereas feelings can be a little bit different. Sometimes there's overlap, but what we're talking about today is the idea of, like, feelings not being related to emotion. So, um, for example, like, feeling unmotivated, feeling tired, feeling, like, not inspired, things like that, and I felt like that was an important disclaimer to make 'cause we definitely want you to be able to tap into your emotions, but maybe not let feelings rule your business and rule every decision that you make.
I think even the word perception though, like, if a feeling is a perception, then you could just be operating in your life based on different perceptions. And that's where, like, I think mindset comes into play, where you kind of have to reframe things. Because you don't really wanna be leading from your feelings at all times, 'cause sometimes your feelings aren't necessarily true, which we're gonna talk about later. And so that's kind of the heart of the episode today, and I hope you can see, like, the clear line and distinction that we're, we're making here. There's power in working with your energy, working with your intuition, tuning into your feelings. But we are arguing that feelings shouldn't necessarily lead the way in all of your decisions, in all of your actions, or inaction, each and every day. Otherwise, you're kind of a slave to your feelings, and sometimes we have to take authority over our feelings.
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Something that I really want to hit on, because this is something that I've noticed in our space and it really bothers me and it makes me frustrated because I see how it is holding people back, and it's disempowering people. The truth of the matter is that business will not always feel good. If you think about life in general, life just, it's, it's reality. Life doesn't always feel good. I think about some of the most rewarding things in life, like as a woman, you know, when you give birth, that doesn't necessarily feel good, right? But when you ask most moms, when you ask most parents, they will look back on that moment and be like, "That was, like, one of the most significant, amazing, incredible moments in my entire life."
And I think that when you look at business in the online space, there is this conversation about how your business should feel good, and I've even seen some shaming around the idea of, "Well, if your business doesn't feel good, then you're doing something wrong. Like, you're out of alignment. You're not doing the right things. You're not focusing on the right things. You don't have enough boundaries. You know, you need to work on your mindset." Which, boundaries, mindset, great. We need to, of course, work on those things at all times. But I really think that it is a dangerous notion for us to perpetuate the idea that business should feel good all the time. I think that that is so dangerous and wrong, because it sets the wrong expectation. It creates this unrealistic picture of entrepreneurship, and it creates shame for the person that's navigating hardship in business. And my Lord, I've navigated so much hardship in business, even just over the last 6 to 12 months. There have been so many moments that have felt really hard. I've felt so much resistance. And if I were to just sit in that and say, "Well, I feel resistance. I think I'm gonna stop. I feel resistance. I think I'm gonna go a different path." And I think it's up to us as individuals to know, like, when is it time for a big change, a shift? You have to kind of tune into yourself to make those decisions. But at the end of the day, business won't always feel good, and I don't think that we should create this idea and picture that it does, right?
Or that it should always feel good, because the reality is it shouldn't always feel good. If your business always feels good, I feel like there's something wrong, 'cause it's just not reality. Like you said, life is not always—life does not always feel good and it's not always easy, and the same thing applies to business. You're gonna navigate hardship. And it's okay if you feel like maybe you're struggling a little bit or you're feeling unmotivated. Trust me, we both experience our own fair share of that. There are so many days where I'm like, "I don't feel like working today," or, "I just feel so not creative. I'm, like, not in the zone." But I have to push myself regardless, because I have deadlines and I have things. Like, we have things that we're doing here. So, of course, like, you have to listen to yourself, and I feel like I've gotten really good at that, knowing, like, when to really push myself, when I have to push myself. There are moments, though, where I do start to get, like, burnt out, and I do literally have to take, like, a 10-minute walk or just, like, take a break, or just get my mind off of it or something, get myself back in the zone. But listen to yourself, but also, like, don't let those feelings guide you. Because like you said, if you just always listen to your feelings and let that guide you, then you're just gonna be a slave to your feelings. I love that. I think that's so important.
Yeah. I mean, I think that there's a clear line, clearly, as you can see, but if you expect your business to feel good at all times, you're going to be disappointed, you're going to feel frustrated, and I wanna touch on why. Why can business not feel good all the time? Let's kind of, like, unravel that. I think, to me, the clearest answer is that if you're building a business, if you're looking to grow a business, even if you're looking to coast in business, there is a level of personal growth associated with entrepreneurship. Ask any entrepreneur, and they will say the biggest, you know, journey of personal growth and development for them in their life thus far is entrepreneurship. It will require you to grow. And because personal development and growth is so clearly tied to business growth, there's going to be growing pains, I don't wanna say at all times, but throughout your journey as an entrepreneur. And, you know, if you think about it, like, when you work out, working out is a form of creating resistance for the body so that you can strengthen it. And that's, like, literally what we're all doing in business. You know, you face different hardships, setbacks, you have different goals, different levels that you want to reach, and in order for you to do that, you're going to have to face resistance. Resistance isn't gonna feel good. It's like, again, going back to giving birth. You know what you're there for and you're excited for that and you're holding that vision, but you know there's gonna be some resistance along the way. It's not going to feel good. And in business, that resistance, those setbacks, they are the things that refine you and strengthen you and actually prepare you to carry out the goals, the desires, the things that you envision. Without that preparation, you could not carry the weight of that. You could not sustain that fruition, that blessing, that actualization. And so to me, that's one of the biggest reasons why business won't always feel good. I think that if your business always feels good, it's almost more of a hobby than it is a business because if you're in business, you're looking to grow, you're looking to be better, and that doesn't necessarily mean growing to serve the masses. It could even be, you know, being a more powerful leader. It could be strengthening your team. It could be, you know, improving your, your systems, your offers. There's something that you're always working towards to serve better, and you're going to face setbacks along the way.
And you will have to push through in those moments where you don't feel good or you feel unmotivated or you feel, um, uninspired and not creative. That actually, like, helps you grow when you start pushing yourself more like that. When you start pushing yourself through those moments of feeling unmotivated, then you start to be able to handle, you know, those feelings more. You'll, you'll have a day where you might not feel motivated, but you're like, "Hey, I can do this. I can sit down and crank out this content. I've done it before, I'm gonna do it again. Like, I have to get this work done. I have to do this thing," whatever it is. Yeah. So yeah, you don't, you don't always feel good, but that's okay. You, like, learning to push through in those moments actually strengthens you over time, and you'll be able to handle more.
Yeah. It's like when you start working out or you start a new move, it's really hard. You hate it, you don't wanna do it, you feel like you can't do it, but the more that you repeat that activity, the easier it becomes, the stronger you become. I remember even, like, the first time I went live on Instagram, oh my gosh, I wonder if I could pull that out of the archive somewhere. It was probably really, really bad, really, really awkward, and there was so much resistance. I was so scared. I remember I, uh, I used to leave my day job, um, and on my lunch break, I would go to an empty parking lot, and, like, that is where I would record my Instagram stories. I couldn't be around another soul. And let's be real, even today, sometimes I like to, you know, get in the zone by myself, but I was so embarrassed and so awkward. And I would also go live sometimes on my lunch break, and it just, it felt forced. I felt so much resistance. But I did it anyways. And now I could pull out my phone and I could go live and I'd be like, "Let's riff." And I don't feel the same resistance. And so that's what you're really hinting at. It's like, the more that you do the activity, the more that you push through those feelings when they are, you know, clearly holding you back, the easier that will become over time. The more of a routine it will be.
So, at the end of the day, what I'm trying to get at here is, you should not feel any shame for not always feeling good in your business, or putting in work for your business. And I hate that I even have to say that, but I have seen people that literally feel so ashamed that they have to work hard in their business. And I'm like, "Where is the shame coming from?" Like, running a business is work. Running a business is, like, going to require growth and resistance. And some of that comes from, you know, just the, um, the picture that's painted in the online space, and sometimes you're looking at people that are 100 steps ahead of you. But even the entrepreneurs that I know that are, like, multimillion-dollar brands, they still navigate hardship, resistance, failure, growing pains, all the things, and they have to show up at their desk, you know, same as we all do, even if you have a $100 business. Everything in between, everything that surpasses that. There will always be, you know, things that you have to press on and press through. And you shouldn't feel shame for that. You should not feel guilty about it. Now, over time, you can create a sense of more, like, ease and peace and freedom in your business, but it's not always necessarily going to feel like nirvana.
Yeah. So, I just want to really empower you to know that it's okay if your business feels hard sometimes, it's okay if things feel sticky right now, if you're feeling resistance. That is actually a sign of growth, and it's a good thing. It's also normal. Like, let's just normalize that. Let's just normalize that, like, business takes work, it doesn't always feel good, and you are not missing anything. You're exactly where you're meant to be, and you're doing a great job. That's what I wanna shine through in this episode.
Yeah, we were thinking about feelings, and sometimes feelings come to you that aren't really your own. You know, like thoughts and feelings will come to you, and you might feel ugly some days, you might feel unworthy, you might feel all these things, and, like, that's okay. Like, that's okay to feel that way, but at the same time, sometimes that's, um, it comes from elsewhere. And most of the time, those things aren't really true. So I've, I've actually learned this, I think, from, like, our parents, really, but most of the time, it's actually, like, the opposite of what you're feeling. So let's say, for example, there are days where maybe I feel ugly, but that's actually not true. I know that I'm not ugly. I'm beautiful. And so I've had to, like, reframe some things for myself over the past, like, 5 plus years, um, just to help myself understand, like, the truth. Sometimes, um, feelings and thoughts that come to you aren't always rooted in truth. They might just come pop in your head and try to tell you a lie that's not true. So, if you feel unworthy, what is the opposite of that? You are worthy. So that's what, I've, like, retrained my brain, so if I ever have, like, weird feelings like that come up for myself, I immediately, like, cut it out, and I will, like, even sometimes go to my mirror, and I'll say it out loud. I'm like, "No, I am beautiful," or, "No, I am this, I am that," and just speaking, like, positive things over myself. Um, sometimes you have to literally take authority over those thoughts and feelings and put them in their place, because they're not from you. I think they just come from the ether. They just come from elsewhere, and it's not, it's not true.
You know, I think about it, like, if you think about, you know, your favorite action movie or, you know, I think about, like, Braveheart or Gladiator, like, these epic movies where, you know, these characters are essentially going to live out their purpose, and they know clearly, or they might not know clearly, but we as the viewers know clearly, like, what they're called to do in this movie. They always have to go through some sort of, like, transformational event, some sort of, like, intense hardship in order to get on the other side. And I think that with your feelings, like, you have to face them head-on, and sometimes you do have to take authority and you have to press through. And it comes back to, like, sometimes your feelings, according to that definition, like, they are perceptions. But is that perception true? Not all perceptions, not all feelings are true. Some days, you know, I feel like I am not equipped to, like, be a business owner, or I can't facilitate all my responsibilities as a business owner. And I think that along our journey, like, the things that we're most called to, the things that we—that actually tie back to our purpose, and tying back to, like, movies, you have to go through certain hardships in order to, like, be refined in the process to live out that calling, to live out that purpose. And it's almost like you'll go through these little, like, tests along the way so that you can grow, so that you can bloom, so that you can elevate and rise to that next level and actually live out that calling and purpose.
And so, it is totally normal for you to have feelings that aren't true. Like, it is totally normal. I mean, like we just said, you know, we've experience—like, we experience this all the time. What matters is, okay, how are you allowing that feeling to dictate what happens next? And so, how are you going to reframe? How are you going to take authority over your feelings when they aren't true so that you can start to guide the way forward and not let your feelings dictate every move, and so you're not a slave to those feelings?
So, I know we were talking before we recorded, and we wanted to share some, like, actual ways that you can take authority over your feelings.
I'll take the first point here. I think step one is you have to be aware. Like, awareness is step one to practically everything. So you have to identify that feeling. If you're going about your day and you're just kind of, like, coasting, and you're like, "Yeah, I just, I feel, I feel ugly. I feel unworthy," and that's just such a natural part of, like, your inner world, then we need to really start becoming aware and really, like, identifying, "Oh, I'm thinking that. I'm feeling that." And you need to notice it. You need to take notice before we can do anything else.
And then from there, this, like, directly ties into that. You disrupt the pattern. So, if you notice these things are going on, disrupt it. And that can look like even—sometimes I'll use myself as an example. If I'm feeling, like, in a rut and, and feeling all these, like, negative things that just aren't true, sometimes I literally just have to, like, get away from my desk. I'll just stand up and, like, literally disrupt my pattern of what I'm doing. Maybe even sometimes, like, changing my posture. That's something that is really, really helpful, 'cause your posture is everything. Like, your physical posture. I'm literally talking about, like, rolling your shoulders back, like, opening yourself up more, just having a more, like, positive sort of, like, presence, I guess. And, like, our dad has said this. I actually don't know if this quote is from someone else, but he said something like, "You can't always feel your way into action. Sometimes you have to act your way into feeling." And I feel like that's so applicable. So, when you disrupt that pattern, you're essentially, like, changing, like, taking some sort of action, which, like, for me, sometimes that's literally just adjusting my posture. Taking that action then makes me feel a little bit more empowered to, like, do what I need to do and show up and be the powerful person that I am. That's like, you know, when people talk about rewiring your beliefs. Like, I just, I love that quote. "Sometimes you have to act your way into feeling." Like, your actions can start to create a different experience, a different perception, a different feeling. Tying back to the first time I went live, like, that was a horrible feeling. Now, I get excited. I get excited to sit down and record podcasts. So, I've essentially rewired, over time, my perception and my feeling about speaking, about going live, about recording. And so, how can you disrupt the pattern? Even sometimes when I get onto a sales call or I have, you know, one of my first calls with a new client and I'm really wanting to bring the energy, I might be a little bit nervous, I will literally be mindful of my posture. So instead of just sitting like this, you know, if you're watching on YouTube, I'm slouching, I have my shoulders rolled down, I'm, I'm kind of, like, small, like, kind of cowering—arms crossed, kind of, like, in this cowering, like, "I feel small," essentially, posture. I will literally sit up. I will straighten my back even if it feels so, uh, I don't know, robotic. Straight posture isn't always, like, our natural. But I'll straighten my back. I will roll my shoulders. I will literally, if you're watching, I'll have palms facing up, and I'll sit them on my legs so, you know, my client doesn't have to see me, like, raising my arms and—and looking like a crazy person. But I'll just sit them in my lap. And it's more of an open posture, and it's more of a powerful stance. And so I think posture is huge. Is the book called Presence? I think there's a book called Presence. We will find it, and we'll link it. But it's all about, like, your posture and how it affects the energy that you bring and even some of the thoughts that you think. So, posture is key, but think about how can you disrupt your pattern. And maybe sometimes, like, the disruption of the pattern is, like, actually pressing through the feeling and taking the action. So, again, when I didn't wanna go live, I was afraid. I didn't let that guide me, dictate my next steps. Instead, I literally went live, and I did it on repeat, over and over and over again, until it created a different experience, a different feeling.
The third recommendation we have here is verbal declarations. I feel like you really do this a lot. In the mornings, she, Ashton does her, like, declarations and, like, sort of, like, positive statements, and some people would call them maybe, like, affirmations or mantras or whatever. But your words have power. If you are feeling something negative or you feel unmotivated, sometimes even just speaking things out loud and, like, speaking over yourself is so beneficial. And this is kind of funny, but just using myself as an example, sometimes I literally am like, "I don't feel like working right now. I don't feel like doing this thing." And then I literally stop myself, and I will say out loud, I'm like, "I feel so excited to do this thing. I am so ready to do it, and I'm gonna crush it." And just, like, literally rewiring the way that I—I'm thinking about it and just kind of, like, repositioning myself.
Yeah. I think that goes hand in hand with disrupting the pattern too, 'cause sometimes the disruption of the pattern can also be, like, the verbal declaration. But I think about, we're batching podcast episodes today, and before our last episode that we recorded, we had the most annoying technical difficulties. And we are not necessarily that tech-savvy, at least in that area. Um, so, you know, we were just kind of in a foul mood after that. We were like, "Oh my gosh, this is so frustrating." And so instead of immediately recording, right, and just, like, you know, bringing the worst energy, we literally reset. We left the room. We made some espresso. Jordan burnt her lip. That's fine. Um, but we, you know, we started making jokes. We started, like, singing as we do, 'cause we live in a music hole. And we started saying, like, "This is gonna be the best episode." You know? And just, like, really disrupting the pattern. Quick hit. Resetting the energy. And, you know, sometimes you just need to do that.
I will honestly do that sometimes by myself in the house. If I'm, like, feeling down, I will just start singing something ridiculous. And I'll make myself cackle, and it just resets the vibe, resets the energy. But again, tying back to verbal declarations, I think that repetition is key here. And the way that you do this doesn't matter. Like Jordan just said, she'll notice thoughts, she'll go to her bathroom mirror, and she will say, "You're beautiful. You're gonna crush this day." "You're gonna be amazing. Like, you're powerful." I'm powerful. For me, like, when I'm, you know, on my best behavior and I'm in my routine, which I'm not right now, but we're gonna get back—I love to do this in the morning. And it's like a part of my morning ritual. I will literally do this, um, when I'm on my back porch or if I'm making coffee. And I have a list of declarations that I like to speak out loud. And so I'll refer back to that list, and I kind of update that on like a 6-to-12-month cadence, and I refer to those. But some days if I wake up and I feel a negative feeling, I will specifically speak to that on purpose, and I will be like, "No, you are confident." I actually will say, "I am confident. I am equipped. I can do this. Abundance is flowing to me. Prosperity is mine. Favor is mine. There is a grace on me to go about this season with favor on my life. I'm going to break through." I just kind of riff. And it doesn't have to be anything crazy, special, take a lot of time, but your words really do have power. And that's one thing our parents instilled in us. Since a very young age. Like, we were not allowed to joke with our words in a way that was, like, disempowering. Negative, yeah. Like, if we were "joking," quote unquote, in a mean way, our parents were like, "Nope, you're not doing that." "Like, cut it out," 'cause like, yeah, I think even when you joke like that, i—i—even if it's negative, though, like, that does have a negative impact.
But I liked w—what you just said about, um, you were saying switching it from, like, the you pronoun to I. I think that's another important little note. Like, even, there are moments where I'm like, I will talk to myself in the mirror. I will speak out loud. And sometimes I, like, will be saying the word you, like, I'm talking to myself in the mirror, and I'm like, "Well, that's, that's weird." And so I've changed it to, like, I, and then I'm, like, really receiving that and speaking it over myself. So that's just a little, like, tidbit. I would encourage you to use personal pronouns and just be like, "I," and, "Me," and, "I'm amazing," and this and that, you know?
Yeah. So it's about you. And you'll just be so surprised, like, it will speak things into existence, honestly. I think about, I think it was Monday of last week, I was walking my driveway and I was specifically speaking for abundance, new clients, new energy in our business, and I was specifically saying, like, "I just believe, I just declare that these opportunities are going to come without any force behind it." You know? Any striving behind it. "Things are just going to click. Things are going to fall into place." That day, I had a client sign. A couple days later, I had a sales call book that's going to convert. And then I had another inquiry come through a few days later. And you'll just be surprised. Like, you will start to see things shift and change, even as you make declarations. But, you know, it's kind of a side tangent, but it does live under that concept of, your words really do have power. You're not gonna be perfect at it. We're not, we're not always positive, and sometimes—you know, you have to move through your feelings, and that takes some time and that's fine. But really make the distinction for yourself, "Am I allowing my feelings to dictate my experience in this world, in my life, in my business?" And if so, like, "Am I happy with, with what's that, what that is creating for me?"
I would encourage you to create, like, a declaration statement. And this can be, like, maybe 5 affirmations. It could be a paragraph. I know for me, I have, like, a page or 2 in my journal that I wrote in January of this year. And if I don't know what to say that day, 'cause I'm just not feeling high vibes, energetic, I will refer to that, and I will read it out loud. And even if I'm not feeling it, I will adjust my posture and I will act as though I'm receiving it and I believe it and I'll do my best. But create a declaration statement for yourself, and specifically tie in things that are in your future vision that you feel afraid of or you feel like you can't do or you can't have. But start rewiring some of those things. "I am an incredible speaker. I am so powerful. The right clients are coming my way. The right opportunities are coming my way." Whatever it is for you. "I'm confident. I'm empowered. I'm a champion. I'm a world changer," as our dad would say. So whatever fits you, I think. Make sure that it fits you. Make sure that it feels true for you, 'cause that's gonna create the connection, and I feel like create the power behind the words you're saying.
Yeah. That's so good.
So, all that to say, I hope after every episode that you just feel empowered, that you feel like the most powerful version of yourself. I feel like our life is just this constant unfolding of, um, realizing the power we've always had inside and accessing that at a deeper and deeper and deeper and truer level. And I hope that you feel that at the end of this episode. If you enjoyed this, please, as always, leave a review if you haven't already. If you're on YouTube, you can like, you can subscribe, you can leave a comment. You know? All the things. And then, please feel free to share on social and tag us @myawakeningco so we can get this message out to more people that need to hear it. As always, thank you for your time, and we will see you in the next one. Bye. Bye.
